5 consent facts

At SARSAS, our training team (a.k.a. the consent experts!) love nothing more than going into schools and colleges to talk to young people about sex and healthy relationships.

But… did you know?

There are some worries that almost always come up in the classroom whenever they mention the word ‘consent’.

These worries may feel unique to you and like no-one in the whole world has worried about them before, but they’re actually very common.

We’ve put together 5 facts about consent to help our students separate fact from fiction.

FACT #1

Asking for consent is sexy!

Consensual sex needs real, confident, open communication. Asking for consent shows that you and your partner respect each other and both care about what you want. This, along with discovering what you enjoy doing together, can be super sexy indeed!

FACT #2

There’s more than one way to say “no”

It’s true that if someone says “no” you must stop, but the absence of a “no” doesn’t automatically mean “yes.” We can verbally and non-verbally ‘say’ “no” in many ways – “I’m not sure,” …silence… or “maybe later,” could all be examples of someone ‘saying’ “no”.

FACT #3

Drunk people can’t consent

While sex after a drink isn’t always non-consensual, you should check whether the person can communicate clearly, are sober enough to know what’s going on and that they’re fully conscious. If you’re at all worried, it’s always safer to wait for another time.

FACT #4

Surprise sex acts aren’t ok!

Consenting to one thing doesn’t mean you’ve consented to ALL the things. If you’ve given consent for vaginal sex, that doesn’t mean you’ve consented to anal sex too. Surprise sex acts are never ok! Plus, how can someone consent to something they know nothing about?

FACT #5

Consent is an ongoing conversation

Whether it’s your first time, fifth time or five-hundredth time having sex, you must always make sure you get consent every… single… time. Consent is making sure someone is ok with what you want to do before you do it, as well as continuing to check in while you’re doing it.